We all like Hot Topic right? Probably not. Yet, while we can rely on them to manufacture and sell clothing that is extremely displeasing to the eye, we apparently cannot trust that their clothing is factually acurate. Case in Point: Ohio is for Lovers
This shirt....plagues me. As we all know the plague was a severe epidemic that wiped out thousands of people. While this shirt most likely hasn't caused the physical death of many, it certainly has left millions of people clinically brain dead. How you ask? Because there is no way you would desire to purchase this shirt unless you had a severe mental lapse or your brain just melted completely.
I mean, why? What does it even mean? When I feel in love, my mind doesn't fondly drift off to images of Ohio. Eating Potatoes, Humidity, Eating Wheat, Not having electricity or the key to happiness - these are all the things I equate with Ohio, not love.
What are you trying to tell people by wearing this shirt? With a piece of clothing you are usually trying to show something about yourself. For instance, if you wear a UC Santa Cruz shirt, you or a family member most likely attends that school. Therefore you are likely to have an affinity for the school and want to show people that. Another point, If you are wearing a dress from Guchi, you most likely have way too much money on your hands. On top of this, you probably only feel valued if you can spend what a normal man earns in a couple months, just on one evening's formal attire. Both of those examples express something about themselves that they are trying to get across to another person.
Yet, what are you trying to express with Ohio is For Lovers. That you feel Ohio is a place of lovers? If its so wonderful and love is truly one tractor ride away, then why are you here at a Mcdonald's in California? Doesn't Make Sense. But, I'm not done.
Love has been and will most likely always be coupled with Marriage. Cause what do you do when your in love? Get Married. That's just what you do. However, In 1998 Ohio's Divorce rate was 46,042 divorces per year. While North Dakota and South Dakota combined has an annual divorce rate of 4,678 divorces per year. That means that the Dakota's combined have 41,364 divorces less than Ohio and you could almost fit four Ohio's in the space that North and South Dakota take up.
I know that was very arithmetical (This is a real word), but I am just proving, like yogurt, that there is no reason for this product. There is just simply no reason to have an Ohio is for Lovers Shirt. If you didn't quite understand everything. Read it again, it makes sense. Then go burn your T-Shirt cause I can see right through it anyway.
7 comments:
what hot spot has the hippest grove?
cleveland!
where all the real gone-daddies move?
cleveland?
what smells so good?
cleveland!
i say, cleveland, hello!
wed all like to flee to the cleve
-glenn
That's ridiculous
I cut my wrist and black my eyes
cause I can't fall asleep tonight
You have yet to realize that you have made a critical error in your analysis. You ineptly state that, "Love has been and will most likely always be coupled with Marriage. Cause what do you do when your in love? Get Married." The shirt says, "Ohio is for Lovers." You have equated the word "lovers" as to mean "love," or "in love." This is simply not true. Often lovers have no intention of being in love, they just want a romantic way of saying, "I wanna get some play." Or in a more politically correct way, "I would really enjoy engaging in sexual intercourse with you." You see, Ohio is not a pro-marriage state at all. Which would explain their high divorce rate. If the T-shirt was honest with the public it would read, "Ohio is a pleasure bomb for the horny and lustful."
(I used way too many quotations.)
In Response to Kyle:
Kyle Said:You have equated the word "lovers" as to mean "love," or "in love." This is simply not true.
What is simply not true about this?
The good old friendly dictionary states that a Lover is and I quote "One Who Loves Another"
Don't dilute/pervert the word love just because you have a screwed version of what it means to you.
Ok, yes indeed maybe I do have a skewed view of what the word lover is defined as.
I'm just making the claim that people that are lovers are often not in love. They just like the excuse it gives them to have gratuitous amounts of sex.
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