Today is the first day of school.
The sad thing is that I am 23 years of age.
This is like....the fifth time I have started school at a new school. This may be the last time. Yet, if I decide to get my PHD then I will be much older and probably won't get the jitters. I'll probably be too busy disciplining my kids and wondering how the heck I got so old rather than dealing with the "butterflies in my tummy."
I don't really know why I am so scared. There seems to be an idea in my head that whenever I get to a new school, there is some serious hazing to be done. I am sitting in the middle of a dark room, wearing only socks, my violent tears soaking through my polyester blindfold, while every one of the faculty verbally tears me apart. Apparently someone has given them a list of every one of my perceived weaknesses cause they nail every bullet-point. They start with my hair and work their way down, spending significant time on my brain and all of the little nuances locked inside of it. Eventually, the clean up the shop by ridiculing my overly wide feet.
This never happens, but I get worked up anyway.
It will probably actually happen today. That is why I am worked up.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Cheers
I just have to say that I don't like it when people say "Cheers" when they mean "thank you."
If your at a bar with a couple of people from England and Manchester United just scores, then look at your friends, hit your overflowing pints of Michelob Ultra together and exclaim "CHEERS!"
But if your at a coffee shop, let's say my coffee shop, and I give you a drink. Don't say cheers. The first reason being that when you say "thank you," it is usually followed up by a customary "your welcome." When you utter the words "cheers" there is no follow up, unless you count the dead silence as a response. Which I wouldn't cause that is such an agonizing four seconds. I am not going to say, "Cheers to you too." I am also not going bring myself down to your level by responding with the same idiotic nonsense.
I get it. Don't think I don't. Your striving to be original. It's cute. You are rebelling against social norms and you think a coffee shop is going to be the best place to exercise your new found freedom...but don't. There are already to many maladies in the realm of human interaction. We don't need this filth.
If the Tv show Cheers was about Rita Pearlman going around trying to make herself seem hip then maybe you would have an excuse, but it wasn't, and you don't
If your at a bar with a couple of people from England and Manchester United just scores, then look at your friends, hit your overflowing pints of Michelob Ultra together and exclaim "CHEERS!"
But if your at a coffee shop, let's say my coffee shop, and I give you a drink. Don't say cheers. The first reason being that when you say "thank you," it is usually followed up by a customary "your welcome." When you utter the words "cheers" there is no follow up, unless you count the dead silence as a response. Which I wouldn't cause that is such an agonizing four seconds. I am not going to say, "Cheers to you too." I am also not going bring myself down to your level by responding with the same idiotic nonsense.
I get it. Don't think I don't. Your striving to be original. It's cute. You are rebelling against social norms and you think a coffee shop is going to be the best place to exercise your new found freedom...but don't. There are already to many maladies in the realm of human interaction. We don't need this filth.
If the Tv show Cheers was about Rita Pearlman going around trying to make herself seem hip then maybe you would have an excuse, but it wasn't, and you don't
Monday, August 3, 2009
DSM
This rant is sponsored by Melody Petersen's book, Our Daily Meds.
When I first learned about the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), I was very impressed. I thought to myself that it was pretty impressive that a group of people got together and compiled a list of mental disorders. It seemed that only good could come of this since in order to treat a disease, you must first diagnose it. However, I am starting to believe that a book like the DSM could be the downfall of our society.
Before you say, "Reid...You're being dramatic."
I would like to say to you, "Don't worry, I am being dramatic."
First of all, I am a grandiose person. If I had a good day and somebody were to ask how my day was, I would most likely respond that it was one of the best days I have ever had. Conversely, if someone were to ask how my day was and it had not been a very good day, the moment would turn sour really fast. Religious or not, the person would probably ask to pray for me due to their concern that death was imminent for me.
For the layman, when I am up I am UP, when I am down I am DOWN.
No I do not think the DSM will actually be the downfall of our society. Jonas Brothers fanaticism is more likely to be a harbinger of Armageddon, but that is so depressing that I don't even want to attempt to write about it.
I do think that its scary that in 1952 there was only 106 mental illnesses listed in the DSM. By 1994, the list had grown to 357 mental disorders. (Petersen,99)
While I do believe that the growth in the list of illnesses is due to our advances in medical knowledge, but some of these have to be put in there just to scare people, or because people are bored, or because people want to find a disease that wins a spot in the coveted DSM. I would do it....I still might.
Not all of you are going to like this news because you want to believe that if something is in a medical book, then it is probably in there for a good reason. However, mental illnesses are not like diseases that infect the blood or other things in the body that can be detected. They are a set of character traits, or flaws to some people. Some doctors actually have boasted that they can tell if a person is depressed by only asking them two questions. They see this as a positive thing that enables the physician to prescribe their patients anti-depressants right away. What are these two questions? I wish I could figure it out.
I imagine they are: Are you depressed? and Did you know you look horribly depressed?
There is no way you can decide if someone needs a chemical aid with a mere two questions.
If you can surmise that someone is depressed based on two questions then you can probably guess that someone has other mental illnesses based on this meager criteria.
Don't believe me? A while ago a company tried to tell people that a large portion of the community suffered from a mental illness called "compulsive shopping disorder." While I do believe that a lot of us are compulsive shoppers, it isn't something that you can treat with pills. They tried though. The pill was called Celexa. It didn't get popular because of the backlash it created when it was featured on shows like Good Morning American. While it is good that this drug's future was quelled after its first television appearance, I wonder how many drugs have flown under the radar for illnesses that were created just so we could buy more pills.
Maybe it is just my machismo that doesn't let me succumb to snacking on Zoloft, but I hard time buying into that people need pills for every little personality quirk they might have. I am starting to believe Chris Rock when he said that some people are just "crazy." Plain and simply crazy.
I am sorry for those who read this and who are currently "suffering" from one of these disorders. Unless it is Restless Leg Syndrome, then I am not sorry. That is just called having too much espresso before bed time.
When I first learned about the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), I was very impressed. I thought to myself that it was pretty impressive that a group of people got together and compiled a list of mental disorders. It seemed that only good could come of this since in order to treat a disease, you must first diagnose it. However, I am starting to believe that a book like the DSM could be the downfall of our society.
Before you say, "Reid...You're being dramatic."
I would like to say to you, "Don't worry, I am being dramatic."
First of all, I am a grandiose person. If I had a good day and somebody were to ask how my day was, I would most likely respond that it was one of the best days I have ever had. Conversely, if someone were to ask how my day was and it had not been a very good day, the moment would turn sour really fast. Religious or not, the person would probably ask to pray for me due to their concern that death was imminent for me.
For the layman, when I am up I am UP, when I am down I am DOWN.
No I do not think the DSM will actually be the downfall of our society. Jonas Brothers fanaticism is more likely to be a harbinger of Armageddon, but that is so depressing that I don't even want to attempt to write about it.
I do think that its scary that in 1952 there was only 106 mental illnesses listed in the DSM. By 1994, the list had grown to 357 mental disorders. (Petersen,99)
While I do believe that the growth in the list of illnesses is due to our advances in medical knowledge, but some of these have to be put in there just to scare people, or because people are bored, or because people want to find a disease that wins a spot in the coveted DSM. I would do it....I still might.
Not all of you are going to like this news because you want to believe that if something is in a medical book, then it is probably in there for a good reason. However, mental illnesses are not like diseases that infect the blood or other things in the body that can be detected. They are a set of character traits, or flaws to some people. Some doctors actually have boasted that they can tell if a person is depressed by only asking them two questions. They see this as a positive thing that enables the physician to prescribe their patients anti-depressants right away. What are these two questions? I wish I could figure it out.
I imagine they are: Are you depressed? and Did you know you look horribly depressed?
There is no way you can decide if someone needs a chemical aid with a mere two questions.
If you can surmise that someone is depressed based on two questions then you can probably guess that someone has other mental illnesses based on this meager criteria.
Don't believe me? A while ago a company tried to tell people that a large portion of the community suffered from a mental illness called "compulsive shopping disorder." While I do believe that a lot of us are compulsive shoppers, it isn't something that you can treat with pills. They tried though. The pill was called Celexa. It didn't get popular because of the backlash it created when it was featured on shows like Good Morning American. While it is good that this drug's future was quelled after its first television appearance, I wonder how many drugs have flown under the radar for illnesses that were created just so we could buy more pills.
Maybe it is just my machismo that doesn't let me succumb to snacking on Zoloft, but I hard time buying into that people need pills for every little personality quirk they might have. I am starting to believe Chris Rock when he said that some people are just "crazy." Plain and simply crazy.
I am sorry for those who read this and who are currently "suffering" from one of these disorders. Unless it is Restless Leg Syndrome, then I am not sorry. That is just called having too much espresso before bed time.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Contact
Just so you know this post isn't all original material, it is inspired by a segment in A.J Jacobs book, "A Year of Living Biblically." So know that. Just know that.
In the book he is talking about a crazy person that lives in his apartment building. Although he likes her very much, she claims to get creeped out by him because of his eye contact. Jacobs had previously been self-diagnosed as someone who doesn't take the customary breaks from long periods of eye contact that happens during conversation, but it still seemed to hurt his feelings.
This moment during my reading is just like those moments one has while listening to stand up comedy. Where a comedian pokes fun at the mundane moments in life that normally do not require any brain waves and makes you say to your neighbor, "That is so true!"
I like these moments.
One of the things that has always stuck with me from my one visit to the "career center" at my local high school was that you should always look people in the eye during a conversation, especially a potential employer.
Sidenote: I imagine the reason I rarely ever visited the "career center" when I was younger was because it felt awkward to receive career advice from a person whom most likely never imagined as a child that one day they would be toiling to advise people what career to choose at the time in their life where they could not care less.
Anyway, this one visit certainly seared into my brain that when engaged in conversation, look the person in the eye.
However, they did not teach the customary breaks that happen during these conversations. I, like most people, seemed to have developed this skill on my own.
What if you did not pick up on this later in life? Or what if you just are very disciplined and do what you were told at an early age and always maintain eye contact no matter how daunting the situation may seem?
If you are one of these unadulterated eye contacters, then I am sorry for thinking that you are a serial killer. You just are doing what you were told.
I know this post is all over the place but I am on a time crunch and lets be honest, the topic isn't enthralling enough to required meticulous revision.
Just think about it and next time your in a conversation, don't break away. We can fight this together.
In the book he is talking about a crazy person that lives in his apartment building. Although he likes her very much, she claims to get creeped out by him because of his eye contact. Jacobs had previously been self-diagnosed as someone who doesn't take the customary breaks from long periods of eye contact that happens during conversation, but it still seemed to hurt his feelings.
This moment during my reading is just like those moments one has while listening to stand up comedy. Where a comedian pokes fun at the mundane moments in life that normally do not require any brain waves and makes you say to your neighbor, "That is so true!"
I like these moments.
One of the things that has always stuck with me from my one visit to the "career center" at my local high school was that you should always look people in the eye during a conversation, especially a potential employer.
Sidenote: I imagine the reason I rarely ever visited the "career center" when I was younger was because it felt awkward to receive career advice from a person whom most likely never imagined as a child that one day they would be toiling to advise people what career to choose at the time in their life where they could not care less.
Anyway, this one visit certainly seared into my brain that when engaged in conversation, look the person in the eye.
However, they did not teach the customary breaks that happen during these conversations. I, like most people, seemed to have developed this skill on my own.
What if you did not pick up on this later in life? Or what if you just are very disciplined and do what you were told at an early age and always maintain eye contact no matter how daunting the situation may seem?
If you are one of these unadulterated eye contacters, then I am sorry for thinking that you are a serial killer. You just are doing what you were told.
I know this post is all over the place but I am on a time crunch and lets be honest, the topic isn't enthralling enough to required meticulous revision.
Just think about it and next time your in a conversation, don't break away. We can fight this together.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Comfort Betrays
I like foods that are good. I know that seems simple enough but it really isn't. Although "Good" can be defined in myriad different ways, it is sad just how many foods out there aren't "good." I believe that good foods are ones that are good through and through. Good presentation, good taste, good nutrients. If one of the elements is missing in the culinary trinity, then I don't believe that it could be called a "good food." If a waiter brings you something that looks awful but tastes delicious, you most likely exclaim, "This actually tastes pretty good for how bad it looks!."
I know your thinking to yourself, "Reid....Reid.....Reid....Nachos happen to be very delicious and when I eat them I think,'boy these are good!.'" While it may appear that you have me cornered you do not at all. One because this is my blog and I can simply delete any seditious comments. But more importantly while you may think the nachos taste good, you know in the back of your head that you feel guilty for indulging in deep fried Tostitos swimming in synthetic "cheese." You never go home from gorging yourself on nachos truly believing in your heart that you made nothing but good decisions throughout the day. Therefore, in my logic, it is not a food that is good through and through.
Two foods for me fit this bill. Sandwiches and Burritos
Yes the sandwich. I am not talking about Paninis stuffed with oozing gobs of mozzarella. I am talking about the good old sandwich. Meat, Bread, and vegetables, together in an ensemble of delight and stuffed in your face.
Burritos. This one is a slippery slope because if one lacks discipline, a visit to Taqueria Vallarta may turn out to be more dangerous than drinking a 8 ounce glass of used mop water, with Pine-sol. If once just has the tortilla and simply fills it with beans and rice (protein power combo), and a meager portion of meat, than your body will be thrilled.
On top of the great taste of these two items and nutritional value, they are very easy on the eyes. I am salivating just thinking of these two treats and I don't think it is going to up the resale of my Powerbook if there is severe water damage.
Added Bonus Alert! They both fit in your hand. No fork included, no two ways to go about it. They go from your hand to your mouth. Have you ever seen someone eat a burrito with a fork? I know they are trying to be polite but it ends up just being really sad. I pray for those people, whatever is causing them to partake in this erratic behavior.
Anyway, if you can think of any other food that fits this bill let me know. If not, leave me comments to delete.
I know your thinking to yourself, "Reid....Reid.....Reid....Nachos happen to be very delicious and when I eat them I think,'boy these are good!.'" While it may appear that you have me cornered you do not at all. One because this is my blog and I can simply delete any seditious comments. But more importantly while you may think the nachos taste good, you know in the back of your head that you feel guilty for indulging in deep fried Tostitos swimming in synthetic "cheese." You never go home from gorging yourself on nachos truly believing in your heart that you made nothing but good decisions throughout the day. Therefore, in my logic, it is not a food that is good through and through.
Two foods for me fit this bill. Sandwiches and Burritos
Yes the sandwich. I am not talking about Paninis stuffed with oozing gobs of mozzarella. I am talking about the good old sandwich. Meat, Bread, and vegetables, together in an ensemble of delight and stuffed in your face.
Burritos. This one is a slippery slope because if one lacks discipline, a visit to Taqueria Vallarta may turn out to be more dangerous than drinking a 8 ounce glass of used mop water, with Pine-sol. If once just has the tortilla and simply fills it with beans and rice (protein power combo), and a meager portion of meat, than your body will be thrilled.
On top of the great taste of these two items and nutritional value, they are very easy on the eyes. I am salivating just thinking of these two treats and I don't think it is going to up the resale of my Powerbook if there is severe water damage.
Added Bonus Alert! They both fit in your hand. No fork included, no two ways to go about it. They go from your hand to your mouth. Have you ever seen someone eat a burrito with a fork? I know they are trying to be polite but it ends up just being really sad. I pray for those people, whatever is causing them to partake in this erratic behavior.
Anyway, if you can think of any other food that fits this bill let me know. If not, leave me comments to delete.
Monday, July 13, 2009
And We're Back
I have been gone. I have been gone in Japan. I have been gone and missing my blog. I didn't want to write while I was in Japan. The reason being that during the day I don't think I would do certain things if I knew that I was going to have to write about them later. I know this sounds bizarre ,but, about 75 percent of the things I do during a single day involve not brain activity whatsoever. For example, I am going to let the cat out of the bag here on this one, but during one night in Tokyo we were having sushi. As I was about so slide the delicious fish down my gullet I noticed a giant green ball of wasabi out of the corner of my eye. Without a single movement of my brain, I picked up the glowing ball with my chopsticks and threw it into my mouth. Exit brain thought, enter chaos. It didn't make sense and it shouldn't. As an "adult" now, I shouldn't be shoving balls of wasabi in my mouth just cause I saw it. Yet, I don't regret it personally. I am however, having to defend myself here and that is not something I wanted to do on a daily basis. So I just decided to forgo writing.
I am back now, so here I go.
In the New Yorker, Elizabeth Kolbert attempted to answer why we are so fat?
We know that the simple answer is that we eat too much and don't exercise. We desire quantity and nix quality. Yet, Liz writes that in the old days people had smaller brains and therefore, required less food to fuel those brains. We as a people nowadays have larger brains and now need to eat more to fuel our brains.
She writes: "Brains are calorically demanding organs. Our distant ancestors had small ones. Australopithecus afarensis, for example, who lived some three million years ago, had a cranial capacity of about four hundred cubic centimetres, which is roughly the same as a chimpanzee’s. Modern humans have a cranial capacity of about thirteen hundred cubic centimetres."
My problem with Liz's hypothesis is this. If we have bigger brains to fuel now, shouldn't we be seeing smarter people? Cause I am just seeing the bigger bodies, yet it seems we are leaking common sense. I mean have you seen the hills? Seriously, Have you?
I am back now, so here I go.
In the New Yorker, Elizabeth Kolbert attempted to answer why we are so fat?
We know that the simple answer is that we eat too much and don't exercise. We desire quantity and nix quality. Yet, Liz writes that in the old days people had smaller brains and therefore, required less food to fuel those brains. We as a people nowadays have larger brains and now need to eat more to fuel our brains.
She writes: "Brains are calorically demanding organs. Our distant ancestors had small ones. Australopithecus afarensis, for example, who lived some three million years ago, had a cranial capacity of about four hundred cubic centimetres, which is roughly the same as a chimpanzee’s. Modern humans have a cranial capacity of about thirteen hundred cubic centimetres."
My problem with Liz's hypothesis is this. If we have bigger brains to fuel now, shouldn't we be seeing smarter people? Cause I am just seeing the bigger bodies, yet it seems we are leaking common sense. I mean have you seen the hills? Seriously, Have you?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Hard Lesson to Learn
Ever since I was a young child, a young lad, I was enrolled in school. There really never was a time that I can remember when I wasn't somehow attached to school. Summer vacations and other time off were just, "a break from school." My indentured servitude to the educational system meant that my whole schedule depended on whether I had school or not.
I remember specifically one day my mom woke me up and said that we were going to play "hooky" (Hook-Key) from school. At first I was bewildered. Not only was I trying to regroup myself after nearly 8 grueling hours of REM Sleep, but I was unfamiliar with what "hooky" was. I thought maybe this was a game that my mother used to play when she was younger. My mind leaped to thoughts of games such as kick the can or other Depression era "time fillers," which made the enthusiasm leave my body immediately. Yet, after more thought, I realized those thoughts didn't make sense chronologically since my mom would have to be near one hundred years old in order for her to be alive during the depression and I alas conceded to this so called "hooky."
It was a very pleasant day. We visited our local IN and Out Burger and spent time there for a couple of hours. After that, we went to the cinemas to lose our minds in some celluloid. I soon came to find out that "hooky" was just a day away from school. I really loved that my mom did that for me, but then I began to wonder what was happening at school without me. Due to the fact that I had always been in school and my life seemed to revolve around it like the earth to the sun, I was very concerned for my classmates. This coupled with a young, naive, and egocentric state of mind, meant that I couldn't conceive of what school was doing without me!
At first I just assumed that the teachers came to school and as they scanned through the role sheet, everything just stopped. Reid was not in attendance. Why go on? Disillusioned, they shuffled out the door and prayed that I would return safely the next day.
While I was flattered by the first thought, my mind began to jump to more terrifying scenarios. I imagined that because I was not at school people were freaking out to the point where the school just descended into chaos. Terrorists were claiming that they were going to execute people one by one if I did not return to hear my English teacher's preplanned lecture on, "Finnigan's Wake."
While you may think there is no way I would think this as a Jr. Higher, I assured you that thoughts like this did go through my mind. Although I didn't take them seriously enough to go looking up the number for the SWAT task force in the Yellow Pages, I did spend ample time thinking about this stuff. I attribute this to not only a wicked and subversive imagination, but the fact that the TNT station constantly showed the movie Delta Force starring Chuck Norris.
Needless to say, since I had never been away from school. I could not picture my life without it. Upon my return, I realized that everything that been ok. There was no serious threats on anyones lives and my teachers actually seemed ok with me not being there.
While this may seem like a good thing to a lot of people, I was kind of disheartened to learn that this world didn't revolve around me. As I am older now, I feel like I am learning that lesson over and over everyday. Although I am relieved that it doesn't revolve around me since I don't believe I would be a fantastic world leader, I do wish the nation would anxiously await my next blog post.
P.S - I do believe most of the world do in fact read my blog and eagerly await my every word.
To them I have to say:
Dear Obama, Bono, Carrot-Top, and others whom love my work:
Thank you for all your support over the year(s). You guys keep me going on. I appreciate your comments and understand your anonymity.
Love,
Reid
I remember specifically one day my mom woke me up and said that we were going to play "hooky" (Hook-Key) from school. At first I was bewildered. Not only was I trying to regroup myself after nearly 8 grueling hours of REM Sleep, but I was unfamiliar with what "hooky" was. I thought maybe this was a game that my mother used to play when she was younger. My mind leaped to thoughts of games such as kick the can or other Depression era "time fillers," which made the enthusiasm leave my body immediately. Yet, after more thought, I realized those thoughts didn't make sense chronologically since my mom would have to be near one hundred years old in order for her to be alive during the depression and I alas conceded to this so called "hooky."
It was a very pleasant day. We visited our local IN and Out Burger and spent time there for a couple of hours. After that, we went to the cinemas to lose our minds in some celluloid. I soon came to find out that "hooky" was just a day away from school. I really loved that my mom did that for me, but then I began to wonder what was happening at school without me. Due to the fact that I had always been in school and my life seemed to revolve around it like the earth to the sun, I was very concerned for my classmates. This coupled with a young, naive, and egocentric state of mind, meant that I couldn't conceive of what school was doing without me!
At first I just assumed that the teachers came to school and as they scanned through the role sheet, everything just stopped. Reid was not in attendance. Why go on? Disillusioned, they shuffled out the door and prayed that I would return safely the next day.
While I was flattered by the first thought, my mind began to jump to more terrifying scenarios. I imagined that because I was not at school people were freaking out to the point where the school just descended into chaos. Terrorists were claiming that they were going to execute people one by one if I did not return to hear my English teacher's preplanned lecture on, "Finnigan's Wake."
While you may think there is no way I would think this as a Jr. Higher, I assured you that thoughts like this did go through my mind. Although I didn't take them seriously enough to go looking up the number for the SWAT task force in the Yellow Pages, I did spend ample time thinking about this stuff. I attribute this to not only a wicked and subversive imagination, but the fact that the TNT station constantly showed the movie Delta Force starring Chuck Norris.
Needless to say, since I had never been away from school. I could not picture my life without it. Upon my return, I realized that everything that been ok. There was no serious threats on anyones lives and my teachers actually seemed ok with me not being there.
While this may seem like a good thing to a lot of people, I was kind of disheartened to learn that this world didn't revolve around me. As I am older now, I feel like I am learning that lesson over and over everyday. Although I am relieved that it doesn't revolve around me since I don't believe I would be a fantastic world leader, I do wish the nation would anxiously await my next blog post.
P.S - I do believe most of the world do in fact read my blog and eagerly await my every word.
To them I have to say:
Dear Obama, Bono, Carrot-Top, and others whom love my work:
Thank you for all your support over the year(s). You guys keep me going on. I appreciate your comments and understand your anonymity.
Love,
Reid
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