Jimmy Fallon

This post was inspired by Jonny Hutchinson giving me the following information:

"Jimmy Fallon is NBC's first choice to succeed Conan O'Brien as "Late Night" Host"

Really NBC? Jimmy Fallon? You really had nobody else?

This is a really hard post because to know some people enjoy the childish and depressing antics of Jimmy Fallon, but I need to get this out anyway.

Jimmy Falon is ridiculous and terrible. I have no idea why he is popular at all. He is terrible...terrible..terrible.......................................................terrible

Some people have explained to me that they like him because he laughs during sketches.
I'm sorry but that isn't funny, that is an inability to act. Sure he has been in funny situations and he has been a witness to comedy, but he has never been the source.

You know how when you are laughing and you see other people laughing and it keeps you laughing for a lot longer than you should? Jimmy Fallon is just that guy who is always laughing. He makes you laugh because you see someone else laughing, you don't really know what else to do so you just sit and laugh with him. That is why he is popular, cause he keeps us laughing without knowing why. He himself is a joke and a sad one.

Here comes the ultimate test whether Jimmy Fallon is funny or not. Jimmy Fallon is really funny in _________.

We have already established that he isn't funny on Saturday Night Live and he just laughs, we cannot use SNL as an example. So Jimmy Fallon is funny in? Taxi? Fever Pitch?

Let's face it, he is a sad human being. Yet, maybe he will succeed as a late night host. Maybe he will just laugh the whole time and after a half and hour everyone will just start laughing and you'll pass out while watching it. When you wake up, you'll wonder if that is all he does and you'll keep watching the show. Thus the vicious cycle continues.



Its hopeless. Jimmy Fallon is not funny.

Disclaimer: This is a Rant and Shouldn't be taken to Seriously

This isn't a normal post, I just had a moment of inspiration.

Weezer

We have all heard the name. In one way or another we have all been touched by one of their songs. Whether it is lovingly touched by their early ballad, "Say it Ain't So" or whether you have been touched inappropriately by their song, "Beverly Hills" we have all been touched. I say inappropriately touched because if that song really touched your heart then your a better man than I am, cause I just don't get it. BUT I AM GETTING SIDETRACKED!

There are have been thousands and thousands of bands polluting our airwaves ever since the first radio broadcast in 1906. Bands such Daughtry and Ashlee Simpson have given people the false idea that they know what good music is. In the old days, there wasn't the internet and small labels producing any band that had a catchy hook. It was a longer process and that is why bands like the Beatles and Led Zepplin succeeded and continues to succeed 50 years later. They were a conscious choice from the record industry that this was a solid band and their record deserved to be put out.

Now a days, that Daughtry fella yelled "ITS NOT OVER!" in a catchy fashion and 300 record labels started yelling, "Let's release it, someone will buy it."

I get it, I am highly romanticizing the record industry and the stupidity of the American people. I know it is not that clean cut, I am just trying to make a point. Good bands in this current generation are few and far between.

That is why we have so many flavors of the week. Also, now that Itunes allows consumers to buy a single track from an artist, people are encouraged to be one hit wonders. Isn't that horrible? A record is supposed to be a cohesive element that needs to be heard from start to finish. Now that bands are ditching this idea and focus on being the number one song on Itunes, the music industry is in slow decline. It's not the consumers fault, its the big wigs, they screwed us all when they made this behavior ok.

However, when I put in a Weezer record, I still get hope for the future.

Think what you want about them, All their albums, even their duds, are superior to what most bands are putting out now a days. They make albums! The only exception to this is Beverly Hills, which I have nothing to say to that.

The Blue Album starts off with "My Name is Jonas" and ends with "Only In Dreams" These are probably the strongest tracks they have ever written and are bookmarks to overall one of the best albums ever made.

Then came Pinkerton. Originally meant to be a Space Rock Opera, this album critically and financially bombed when it first came out. There was a huge backlash because it was seriously kind of a creepy record. River's lyrics are about his fascination with young Japanese girls and how Sex rules his life. While this may turn you off initially, this is by far their best record and as time went on everyone started to feel the same way. Rolling Stone actually changed their review a couple of years later and put it in their Musical Hall of Fame.

I really don't feel like I should get into the rest of the albums because I am sure most of you hadn't gotten this far. This is an insane rant. So I am just going to let the cover of their new album speak for me.

I actually don't care if you listen, they are a golden gem of a band.

The Silver Lining

This going to be short and too the point.

I think Bluetooth Headsets are fantastic. Not because they let me talk without having to use my hands, cause that was getting old fast, but because I know that Insane people benefit from them too. 3 Years ago, When a person would be talking out loud in public, everyone used to stare and say to themselves, "What the hell is wrong with that man? Just talking to himself like that! What a crazy person!" Or they would just giggle and how do you think that made the crazy person feel? Probably pretty bummed.

However! The release of these new Bluetooth Headsets have allowed people to get used to the idea of talking out loud. Now if someone is talking out loud people think he is just on the phone.

Do you realize how great this is?! Crazy people can roam the streets freely talking as loud as they want. They can have louder and better conversations with the "friends" that only they can see! And why must it only be one invisible friend that he talks to? Why not hundreds? These new headsets have allowed people from all walks of life, mostly the crazy ones, talk without guilt.
They can talk for hours about why mayonnaise tastes like toothpaste if it has been on the sidewalk for week! This is groundbreaking!

So do yourself and the crazy people around you a favor and buy a Bluetooth Headset. You will still feel important and it will only cost you around $50. Which is way better than the latest mac gadget, the Mac Book Air, or as I like to call it "A Bad Idea". This computer costs around $1800 and is just downright silly.

To Sum it Up:

Headsets help crazy people feel better about themselves. It's that simple
=

Ohio is for Losers

We all like Hot Topic right? Probably not. Yet, while we can rely on them to manufacture and sell clothing that is extremely displeasing to the eye, we apparently cannot trust that their clothing is factually acurate. Case in Point: Ohio is for Lovers

This shirt....plagues me. As we all know the plague was a severe epidemic that wiped out thousands of people. While this shirt most likely hasn't caused the physical death of many, it certainly has left millions of people clinically brain dead. How you ask? Because there is no way you would desire to purchase this shirt unless you had a severe mental lapse or your brain just melted completely.

I mean, why? What does it even mean? When I feel in love, my mind doesn't fondly drift off to images of Ohio. Eating Potatoes, Humidity, Eating Wheat, Not having electricity or the key to happiness - these are all the things I equate with Ohio, not love.

What are you trying to tell people by wearing this shirt? With a piece of clothing you are usually trying to show something about yourself. For instance, if you wear a UC Santa Cruz shirt, you or a family member most likely attends that school. Therefore you are likely to have an affinity for the school and want to show people that. Another point, If you are wearing a dress from Guchi, you most likely have way too much money on your hands. On top of this, you probably only feel valued if you can spend what a normal man earns in a couple months, just on one evening's formal attire. Both of those examples express something about themselves that they are trying to get across to another person.

Yet, what are you trying to express with Ohio is For Lovers. That you feel Ohio is a place of lovers? If its so wonderful and love is truly one tractor ride away, then why are you here at a Mcdonald's in California? Doesn't Make Sense. But, I'm not done.

Love has been and will most likely always be coupled with Marriage. Cause what do you do when your in love? Get Married. That's just what you do. However, In 1998 Ohio's Divorce rate was 46,042 divorces per year. While North Dakota and South Dakota combined has an annual divorce rate of 4,678 divorces per year. That means that the Dakota's combined have 41,364 divorces less than Ohio and you could almost fit four Ohio's in the space that North and South Dakota take up.

I know that was very arithmetical (This is a real word), but I am just proving, like yogurt, that there is no reason for this product. There is just simply no reason to have an Ohio is for Lovers Shirt. If you didn't quite understand everything. Read it again, it makes sense. Then go burn your T-Shirt cause I can see right through it anyway.

Spectacular Historian

I know this is a bizarre post, but something has haunted me the past couple nights.

In my class that I am currently taking called, American/Japanese Memories of WW2, the class is going over the process of remembering and how social memory is constructed. Pearl Harbor is a good example. Right after Pearl Harbor, everyone was up in arms wonder how the heck something as destructive as this could have happened on our shores. Some felt that it was the Roosevelt administration's fault because they were trying to get a "backdoor" into WW2. Since the general public would have never joined such a war of this magnitude just for valor, it made sense that the government let Pearl Harbor take place in order to justify entering "The Great War."

Others, felt that we were just a nation that wasn't ready. We were a "sleeping" nation and need to step up our security. Hence why the Central Intelligence Agency and other things of this nature were born.

Overall, there were many different theories of why this happened. All of these are important because we still to this day do not know how this happened. We need to keep asking questions, not seek after an official apology from Japan like we did in later decades. I mean come on, we are looking for them to apologize for bombing one of our military zones, while we went on to drop the atomic bombs on two places in Japan that were entirely civilian. It doesn't seem fair.

HOWEVER! THIS IS NOT WHAT BOTHERS ME!

As time went on, Pearl Harbor began to get pushed in the back row of our brains. Life went on, other wars happened, so it goes. Yet, Pearl Harbor has not remained something to be studied, it has been made into a part of "Spectacular History."

On Memorial day of 2001, Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor opened up to enormous crowds all over the world, even in Japan where some of the dialog was altered to prevent controversy. Now, most people of this generation have seen Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor and it has shaped their memory of this event. Since the general public are not avid historians, mass media spectacles are all they have to look to for important events such as Pearl Harbor.

What really bothers me is that it appears that Michael Bay has become the common man's historian.

Is that scary to anyone else? Does anyone else feel differently? I know these are just my thoughts, but I wanted to know how you guys feel about this. Let me know!



Michael Bay AKA The Devil

Too Much Time on My Hands

Although this is not a life changing or sincerely thought provoking post, I just want to address the issue that some people are awesome. These people, usually have way too much time on their hands and create something that is truly Awe inspiring. However, they always get overlooked because....well... I don't know why they get overlooked. Yet, on this blog, we will take a look at these geniuses that make America what it is today, creepy and bizarre. Let's have a look see

First Example:
Melanie Coles, 22, loved the 'Where's Waldo?" books so much that she took the character out of the books, and into our hearts. By hearts, I really mean Google Earth. Coles painted a large Waldo on the roof of her apartment so that way people can look for Waldo's friendly face on Google Earth. To me, this is awesome. This is an idea that would only seem to come to you when your the opposite of sober. Yet, she thought about it, took time off of not working, and made her dreams come true. Check out the picture below



Congrats, Melanie.

I will post more examples of people that are awesome in the near future. If you have any examples in awesomeness, post it in the comments. These people need to be seen and heard about. Cause while it's simultaneously depressing and interesting, there is a dash of fun mixed in there and thats what counts. I am a total loser

Baby Baller's

Like most people whom are consious, there are a lot of things in America that perturb me. While things such as Tyler Perry's fame used to be in the forefront of my mind as very disturbing, it is starting to be taken over by the idea of the Brand Name. If you have a tv or have been outside your house in the last 100 years, you will notice that brand names are quite a big deal to the American public. They are important for two reasons. 1) Is that sometimes the more well known brands offer a more quality product. For Example, a pair of "Levi's" jeans may last longer and be made of a more comfortable material than from the "Kurt Duggan's Jean Machine" company. This, to me, is understandable.

The Second reason is that people like brands name because
it makes people feel better about themselves and unconciously gives them a feeling of superiority. To me, this is really depressing. A perfect example of this is Louis Vuitton. While I do not know a member of the Vuitton family and cannot say anything bad about the man himself, his products serve absolutely no purpose what so ever in this world. One of his pursues or handbags, however you spin it, costs about $1,180. I would pray that any normal person would look at this and laugh. However, there are a privileged few whom think it is completely economical to spend that much money on something that holds your wallet, keys, and possible Chihuaha that wears a blue cardigan. I just don't get it.

While this Brand Name thing has always bothered me, I have always pushed it into the back of my mind. Yet, while I was listening to NPR last night, I heard about the newest Brand Name product that was sweeping the nation. Upon hearing this news, I pulled over my car to wait out the oncoming conniption fit that was soon to take place . Bug-a-Boo has released a baby stroller that is $800 dollars. While I know some of you are saying, "Can you put a price on your sweet and precious baby?" I don't know and frankly I don't care if you can because your not doing it for the baby, you are doing it for you. The baby doesn't give a damn if you push it in a padded shopping cart, as long as your not dragging it on the ground. Your doing it so you can have the Brand Name, which carries with it the rewarding experience of momentary envy from people who otherwise would have nothing to do with you because it clear that you make horrible decisions.

Is there any reason for this? Can anyone help me? Please help me understand this!

I Heart Guns

I am not sure how I feel about the news of Charlton Heston's death. It is kind of shocking. I mean he is such a revered actor and Gun Toting badass that I don't really know how to feel. He brought life to the roles that he portrayed on film and probably took the life of many people by encouraging more people to own guns.

What do you guys think?