Spring Break. We need a break. We all do. College students everywhere just need one week where they can just sit and do nothing. Maybe a bit of drinking. Maybe a main-line a little PCP. You know, guy stuff. Doesn't matter what we do or where we do it. This week is for me.
This is the ideology that surrounds spring break. MTV shows us from Cancun just what college spring break is all about.....Bad Decisions. Any channel, not just MTV, has their own idea of what a real spring break is and they all revolve around poor decision making. While TV and other facets of college life tell us that drinking, sex, and drug use are what making up the bulk of bad decisions made on spring break, that is not entirely true. I have abstained from all of the above, yet have made truly truly bad decisions during this spring break.
During this epoch, I first veered off course when I purchased the ever addicting Rock Band for the Xbox 360 Console. I don't even have an Xbox. Yet, I thought it would be a swell idea to buy this anyway. What makes this worse is that I had a moment of realization amid this temporary insanity. I had the Rock Band in both of my hands, because it is way too large to fit in just one hand, and I looked among my fellow Costco shoppers. Hundreds of people, some can barely meet the sustenance level in their finances, buying food for their families. I saw this, took this in, but still walked out with the game.
After this, I chose to spend some mornings just drinking coffee and watching Kathy Griffin specials. I could go on with how I spend other days but I fear I may be too dismayed to even reminisce about yesterday's sluggish endeavors.
The point is, that you don't have to be an alcoholic, a sex addict, or a coke head to unappreciated the life you have been given. You can do it by being selfish and not spending every waking second showing love to.....well....anyone.
The week is not over...do something that makes someone, anyone, feel loved. Please....also, don't buy Rock Band.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
A Meditation on Yogurt
I, Reid Volk, am going tackle a topic that is very difficult. I do know full well that this may turn my friends, family, and possibly my local Yoplait dealer against me. Yet, I do feel like I need to address this issue....so here it goes...
I do not understand why people put Yogurt into their bodies. Notice that I did not say eat or drink. This is because you cannot eat or drink Yogurt, you ingest it.
If you say that you eat yogurt your fooling yourself. While some may make the chewing motion while this stuff is in their mouth, there is nothing to chew. It will say this again because it is something that needs to be repeated...There is nothing to Chew! You might as well try to drink it, but ah Ha! my next point!
You cannot drink this stuff either. It's just a tad too thick. One company tried to market a drinkable yogurt and I was so angry that I held my breath until I passed out. Drinkable yogurt is really just Vitamin D Water, or Dairy Water. Neither of these are comforting to me and that is why I don't buy this filth.
In Essence, you ingest it. In order to do that, one must grab a spoon or a spork (Thank God some people still find this a useful utensil). Then, one must dig into the plastic container to retrieve this "food." Which is a whole other reason not to touch this stuff, how demeaning is it that you have to take a least a half hour to dig into a container, just to enjoy this product. It's homework in a cup and nobody likes homework. Once, you get this stuff out, you then have to put it in your mouth and your mouth has to decide what to do with it.
While a person could just tilt their head back and experience this gelatinous mold slither down their throats, most people prefer to just push it around with their tounge until it is in a position to swallow.
On top of this, what is the point of putting it in your body?
There are very few calories, so you cannot claim your ingesting it just to get some good calories in you. Also, If you claim that your eating it because its a low calorie snack, then your an idiot because while it may be low in calories, its not filling. If its not filling then its not worth eating because then as soon as your done, its like you never ate anything at all. Tylenol is more filling and at least you won't have a headache afterwards from trying to figure out why the hell you ate it in the first place.
Overall, yogurt is filth. There is no reason why anyone should eat it. If you really feel like you must get your yogurt "fix". Then dig your fingers in the container and rub it on your tounge because other than that, yogurt is absolutely worthless.
Worthless
I do not understand why people put Yogurt into their bodies. Notice that I did not say eat or drink. This is because you cannot eat or drink Yogurt, you ingest it.
If you say that you eat yogurt your fooling yourself. While some may make the chewing motion while this stuff is in their mouth, there is nothing to chew. It will say this again because it is something that needs to be repeated...There is nothing to Chew! You might as well try to drink it, but ah Ha! my next point!
You cannot drink this stuff either. It's just a tad too thick. One company tried to market a drinkable yogurt and I was so angry that I held my breath until I passed out. Drinkable yogurt is really just Vitamin D Water, or Dairy Water. Neither of these are comforting to me and that is why I don't buy this filth.
In Essence, you ingest it. In order to do that, one must grab a spoon or a spork (Thank God some people still find this a useful utensil). Then, one must dig into the plastic container to retrieve this "food." Which is a whole other reason not to touch this stuff, how demeaning is it that you have to take a least a half hour to dig into a container, just to enjoy this product. It's homework in a cup and nobody likes homework. Once, you get this stuff out, you then have to put it in your mouth and your mouth has to decide what to do with it.
While a person could just tilt their head back and experience this gelatinous mold slither down their throats, most people prefer to just push it around with their tounge until it is in a position to swallow.
On top of this, what is the point of putting it in your body?
There are very few calories, so you cannot claim your ingesting it just to get some good calories in you. Also, If you claim that your eating it because its a low calorie snack, then your an idiot because while it may be low in calories, its not filling. If its not filling then its not worth eating because then as soon as your done, its like you never ate anything at all. Tylenol is more filling and at least you won't have a headache afterwards from trying to figure out why the hell you ate it in the first place.
Overall, yogurt is filth. There is no reason why anyone should eat it. If you really feel like you must get your yogurt "fix". Then dig your fingers in the container and rub it on your tounge because other than that, yogurt is absolutely worthless.
Worthless
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Unadulterated Time, That's All I Ask
I really hate growing old. Not so much for the mushy skin and insatiable urges to get coffee at Macdonald's at all times of day (Seriously, look at an old person at Macdonald's, chances are they have a piping hot cup of coffee)
No, the reason I hate growing old is that friends don't really like to hang out, they like to "meet." It's never, "Come on over, lets eat bugles and watch Outbreak backwards so it looks like the people are getting better" anymore. Growing older reduces it to, "Hey man, I have some time from 12 - 1 tomorrow. Want to grab lunch?"
Grab lunch? I can grab lunch any time of day. Grab lunch means touching food in an abrasive manner, not two people spending valuable time together. Also, I never feel like I want to meet someone if they want to "grab lunch". They are going to eat at that time anyway. I don't want to have to try to steal attention away from your club sandwich. If you really cared about getting together with me, you would say, "Let's hang out and maybe we can fit in a blooming onion at Chilis if time permits."
If you want to see me, see me. Don't include me into your daily schedule. It doesn't show that you care at all. It just says, "hey you mean a lot to me, I am just unwilling to fit you into my schedule."
That's all I have to say about that
No, the reason I hate growing old is that friends don't really like to hang out, they like to "meet." It's never, "Come on over, lets eat bugles and watch Outbreak backwards so it looks like the people are getting better" anymore. Growing older reduces it to, "Hey man, I have some time from 12 - 1 tomorrow. Want to grab lunch?"
Grab lunch? I can grab lunch any time of day. Grab lunch means touching food in an abrasive manner, not two people spending valuable time together. Also, I never feel like I want to meet someone if they want to "grab lunch". They are going to eat at that time anyway. I don't want to have to try to steal attention away from your club sandwich. If you really cared about getting together with me, you would say, "Let's hang out and maybe we can fit in a blooming onion at Chilis if time permits."
If you want to see me, see me. Don't include me into your daily schedule. It doesn't show that you care at all. It just says, "hey you mean a lot to me, I am just unwilling to fit you into my schedule."
That's all I have to say about that
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)