Movie Reviews!

I recently attended the midnight showing of X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

This film is a true representation of how you can strip away anything good of a franchise and replace it with explosions just so you can make more money. I get it, fire is super cool. The cavemen totally dug it because you know....it helped them sustain life. It is clearly really special because we don't really rely on fire that much anymore to sustain life, yet we keep it around just so people can have a focal point during their political discussions at your dinner parties that you host every couple of weeks to impress your friends and prove to them that you and your wife are not reclusive. (I know it was a major run on sentence, but i'm proving a point.)

Fire is neat. It is impressive and it's kind of fun to splurge and buy the Dura-Flame log that creates different color flames. However, I feel it should be used sparingly in a motion picture. You know...to create drama.

An explosion is the pinnacle of action. Tension is created by the threat of something going to explode. That is how MacGyver existed as a television series. Every episode dealt with him attempting to prevent explosion and that was it. He knew that if the bomb blew, that would be it.

Yet, the director of this film, Gavin Hood, apparently had never watched MacGuyver. Which is really weird considering that he had previously acted in episodes of Stargate SG-1 which starred Macgyver himself, Richard Dean Anderson.

Anyway, Mr. Hood decided to just fill the Wolverine film with tons of poorly executed explosions and awful dialogue. There was no tension building. There was no, "Holy Heck! That bomb is going to go off anytime soon! Let's get out of here or we'll all die!"

It was just boom. Boom. Boom.

I know that superhero films require a suspension of belief when you enter the cinema, but it is truly unbelievable that the director could make a movie with so much explosions and so little heart.

But, they already have my money. So I guess I'll be seeing all of you guys next year at the midnight showing of "Big Explosions: The Movie"